Romantic Advice - My husband is a Flirt!

I need some romantic advice - my husband is a flirt!

Dear Savvy

My husband is a good man - we've been married for eight years and I'm a lucky woman, and I do love him. I know he loves me too.

One problem. My man has roaming eyes and he likes to flirt! It doesn't matter if I'm standing right in front of him - he has no shame.

If the waitress is hot the entire meal will be uncomfortable for me because he will compliment her and flirt with her until I am embarrassed and feel disrespected.

I've asked him many times to stop this behavior and I've told him it hurts me but he says it's harmless.

What should I do?

Jill

If this really bothers you and hurts you and you have clearly communicated that fact to your husband - it's not his fault anymore - it's yours.

We train people how to treat us with positive and negative reinforcement. I'm sure you pout when he flirts with other women and it's obvious that pouting is not going to change his behavior.

So what to do? My romantic advice is to tell him clearly what the problem is, how it makes you feel, and what the outcome will be if he continues - then follow through. You cannot tell him what to do or it will not owrk - you can only tell him what you will or won't do. What does this look like?

Husband is flirting with waitress and you are hurt. Take a moment, hold his hands and look him in the eyes and say, "Baby, when you flirt with her like that it really hurts me and makes me feel disrespected. Now, you have every right to keep doing what you're doing but if you choose to continue I will end our evening and go home."

Now back it up - and you probably will have to the first time. It will be incovenient - you may have to take a cab or miss out on something you wanted to do, but in the long run - he will see that he loses. When he flirts he loses the company of his wife. Period.

Do it!

Best to you,

Savvy