Romantic Gestures

What if I sacrafice my romance?

Romantic gestures played out in chick flicks and fortified by my friend's new hunky boyfriend surprising her with flowers for no reason... I could almost be jealous.

But you know what I realized today? I may never have my heart's desire.

I write free romance stories because love and romance is what I want – what I’ve always wanted, what I’ve cried and strived for since I was old enough to know the difference between boys and girls. I have made life decisions based on the pursuit of, what my parents have; unconditional, romantic love.

And today in church I had the big epiphany. I actually have a head-ache now from trying to keep it pushed out, but it bullied its way in. The talk was on the story of Abraham and Sarah, and how God asked Abraham to sacrifice his “precious”, his son Isaac. (It’s a dramatic story; find it starting in Genesis 12 if you want the whole scoop). Hearing this message took me right back to a time when I thought I had sacrificed my Isaac, my most precious. Years ago I had decided that making decisions based on romance and sex had ruled my life for long enough and I gave God my most “precious”, I gave Him my sex life.

My fiancé and I maintained a celibate courtship for 16 months. That is one year and 4 months. That is/was an impossibility for me – it was God who got me through. But I went into that covenant with my hand out. “God, I will give you my most precious – and in turn, (negotiating with the big man) you will give me what my parents have.”

We plan, God laughs. Maybe I’ll share that story in its entirety another time but let’s just say, Alanis Morissette has no idea what ‘ironic’ is – I cornered the market on that one.

So today listening to the story of the sacrifice of Isaac a thought passed through my mind and then came back and set up camp. What if my “most precious”, to be sacraficed in faith, is the very pursuit of a romantic relationship, period? What if I am destined for singleness? What if this is – as good as it gets?

Today, right now, at this moment – I am perfectly fine with that sacrifice. Maybe just becasue I am PMS’ing and I wouldn’t want anyone around me anyway, but today I have a peace about remaining single – forever. Today I just want to live in God’s plan and take care of my passions in my own personal way – one of which is to write for this site. I am also perfectly capable of taking myself out for dinner, dancing, and I don’t get slapped when I try to get fresh.

Today.

Savvy Jones

Genesis 12 on Bible Gateway (leaves Free Romance Stories )